I want to be honest with you.
I want to tell you the truth.
Because I’ve been silent.
Because I’ve been hiding.
Because I’ve been healing.
Because I’ve been grieving.
Because I’ve been growing.
Because I’ve been learning how to walk a new path.
Because I’ve been learning how to stand on my own two feet.
Because I’ve been healing from heartache.
And when your heart cracks open…
It’s hard to keep moving forward.
It’s hard to be the person I use to be.
It’s hard to wake up excited, roll out the yoga mat and step onto my dream.
It’s hard to remember the why.
It’s hard to show-up for you, when I’ve forgotten how to show-up for me.
It’s hard to be me when someone who I shared Bowern, my life, home and love with.. I no longer share this life with.
It’s hard to keep showing up when everything around you is new and you’re wondering where the (HELL) everything that use to be in your heart is gone.
And so, in the process of heartache.
You walk away from everything that lights you up.
(I don’t know why this is, I’m still learning).
You forget about the things that lights you up.
You forget to follow what you love.
You forget to eat the right foods.
You forget to exercise.
You forget to make time for what’s important to you.
You forget how to really smile.
You forget how to get excited at the sunrise.
You forget to run to your favourite your Yoga Class.
You forget to talk to your amazing community, because you can only focus on putting one foot in front of the other.
You let those favourite things of yours fall at your feet, because your heart is aching.
You forget how to call you friends because you can’t look at yourself in the mirror.
You forget what it’s like to be you.
“You decide, to keep going.
You decide to show-up.
You decide to no longer hide the pain, because it’s a part of the reality you are living.”
So, as I begin to move Bowern into the next chapter, as I begin to navigate how Bowern feels, moves, looks in this transformation.
As I begin to show-up, get back onto the Yoga Mat and in touch of all the things I love.
I promise to be more of me — all of me.
I promise to let you in. And I want to get to know you more.
Because fitting in was never for me and it’s time we all decided to honour the seasons, shades, movements of life.
And if I’m not being 100% of myself to you..
I might as well close the doors of Bowern the doors are about to be flung wide open.
I may be learning to walk a different way.
I’ll keep going.
I’ll keep learning.
I’ll keep sending love.
Because it’s time to rise.
It’s time to emerge.
It’s time to fly again.
Even if my wings are a little broken.. they’ll heal as the wind moves through the feathers.
To what ever you are going through right now– keep emerging.
You have no idea what’s waiting for you.. neither do I.